This is a great guest post about change, by Ali Davies, a coach and trainer I truly respect and enjoy. You’ll find her details at the bottom of the piece.
When that happens it is easy to fall into the mindset of wallowing in negative thoughts, burying your head in the sand or ignoring what is really making things so hard.
But that serves no purpose. It only keeps you stuck.
It is in those moments that you need to take yourself aside and give yourself a bit of a talking to.
No BS. Just calling it straight.
Telling yourself things that you might not want to hear but really need to, can be the catalyst to pull yourself out of being stuck and getting into action.
So, for those moments, here are:
10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear But Really Need To
1. Your life and work are the way they are because of your own decisions, choices and actions. If you don’t like how things are, you need to make different decisions, choices and take different actions. You are the captain of your ship. Learn how to steer it.
2. It is nobody else’s fault. Stop blaming other people for what is going wrong in your life, work, relationships or any other aspect of your life. Until you take full responsibility for everything that is going on in all areas of your life, nothing will change. The blame game doesn’t get results.
3. If you carry on over scheduling yourself nothing will ever change. Change only happens where there is time and space to do something different. Make it a priority unless you want to keep peddling the same old hamster wheel forever.
4. Stop saying “I don’t know how to do it”. It keeps you stuck. Replace it with “What do I need to learn to be able to do it”. Commit to finding a way.
5. Before you start pointing the finger at others, take a look at what you are contributing to the situation. You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself.
6. Don’t be a B.M.W. (Bitcher, Moaner ,Whiner). It doesn’t solve anything. And nobody wants to be around a B.M.W. On the flip side. Avoid people who are a B.M.W. They will drain your energy and suck the life out of you.
7. Stop saying “I don’t have enough time”. Yes you do. You have the same 24 hours as everyone else does. You are just choosing to spend it differently. The problem isn’t time. The problem is self management.
8. Stop making excuses. Hold yourself accountable. Magic starts to happen when you no longer allow yourself to make excuses.
9. Stop saying “I’ll try”. Either do it or don’t. As Yoda said “Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”
10. Stop saying “It isn’t fair”. You aren’t three years old. If something isn’t how you would like it, change it. If you can’t change it, move on. But banging on about things not being fair is for toddlers – not for people who are in charge of their life.
So, if you really want to create change in your life and work, you might want to check you don’t do any of these things. And if you do, well, time to take yourself aside and give yourself that talking too.”
Ali Davies runs a training company that teaches professionals, at midlife and beyond, effective change strategies to design the life and reaults they really want and how to achieve their personal and professional goals.
You can find out more about Ali and her work at www.alidavies.com