Coach Train Learn

Making The Difference – Desperate Housewives Style!

I’ve found something to write about of value from ‘Desperate Housewives’ – not that I watch it of course – it was on in the other room…honest! Bear with me whilst I set the scene, there is a valid point I’m making somewhere in here!

Last night an episode aired in the UK which marked quite an anniversary for the show. It was their 100th storyline.

So they decided to start the show with a death – not the first time death has occurred on the show of course, but this time it was the prompt for a cool look at how one individual can impact on a number of people’s lives – not unlike the Jimmy Stewart role in ‘It’s a Wonderful World’, one of my all-time favorite movies.

Titled “The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened”, it showcases well-known Hollywood legend Beau Bridges as the special guest star.

According to the precis on GRRLTV, this is the shows overview:-

“Bridges plays local handyman Eli Scruggs, who is discovered dead during a stint working for Susan. As a result of his unexpected demise, the ladies of Wisteria Lane each reflect on the substantial impact he had on their lives ten years ago.

Apparently, Eli saved Gaby from missing out on the opportunity to befriend her current BFFs when she first moved to the neighborhood; he comforted Susan after every one of her somewhat frequent heartbreaking breakups; he planted the seed that gradually turned Bree into the domestic diva she is now; and he counseled Lynette when she was worn out by motherhood.

Heck, he was even friends with Edie, which says a whole lot about his personal charms.”

The point I need to make here, even though it is ‘just a story’, is that this really is how life works.

‘We change people’s lives’

You, me, we all make a difference in everyone’s lives. We do it any time we interact with anyone at all. It might be a question; a remark; a physical act. Every single thing we do, makes a difference to the one on the other side of the interaction.

If we’re manager, we make a difference to our employees lives, every single day and every single interaction.

Of course, many times it’s a small thing that sinks without hardly a ripple deep into their  mind. Sometimes – and we probably don’t even know when – we can make a significant difference to people whose paths we cross.

Other times those small things that seem to make no difference can make the difference when repeated often, for example, like when you might have been at school and your French teacher said you were useless at French.

Say it more than a couple of times and yes, you would be useless at French – possibly forever.

Eli Scruggs made a difference, in ways that were only acknowledged in the show after his death.

Think about it – we all make a difference, so it’s good sometimes to see ourselves for what we are and can be more  as facilitators of others – in the great way we can be, day after day.

5 Simple Steps to Better People Management

Managing and getting the best from each of your people is a ‘knack’; a ‘trick’ you can learn and pull off. There are many ways.

Here are five simple things you can do, this week even, to kick-start your way of making your management skill work best – and still have your people go home each night feeling great!

1. Spend time having easy conversations with your people today. Ask them lots of open questions about anything – follow their lead. It’s OK – you don’t have to talk business all the time.

2. Ask as many people as you can (it may take more than a day!), how you are doing. What can you do to make things work better? What is getting in their way? Follow-up, even if you can’t solve it – tell them why later – not right away as it tends to dismiss them.

3. Be your customer or client for a day – experience their experience. Share the activity with your key people and use the information to realise how you are doing as a business. Is it good enough? Is it really good enough?

4. Notice people’s contribution much more and say ‘Thank you’ a lot more often, when a job is done well. Even say a genuine ‘Thank you’ when it’s not something that special – just for doing their job, which is often overlooked.

5.Let things go a bit – if you tend to be on the fussy, pedantic side, STOP. For a day, then a week. See what falls off a cliff – it will probably be nothing at all. Your people will love you for it. Think what your fussiness feels like for them – ask them even!

So there you go – will you take the challenge up?

Do you want to build morale, motivation and loyalty in your team members? Do you want to build their capabilities and skills?

Are you ready to accelerate the performance of your team and business.

Only you can!

Employee Dissatisfaction – Ten Ways to Really Upset Your People

Want some guidelines for how you can definitely get under the skin of your workers? Here are some simple things known to irritate the heck out of them, time after time…

If you want engaged, co-operative, motivated and productive staff on your team, this is a not-exhaustive list of things you can constructively do to mess it up.

Here are just ten things you can do to really p**s off your people and almost guarantee failure in your workplace!

Good luck (see the end for an alternative!)

1. Fail to Communicate Necessary Information

Your people will feel vulnerable when they are not told things about their role, the business and other more general information. If they are customer facing they will just hate to be seen unable to meet their customer needs because they are short on what they need to know.

2. Build No Relationships

Guaranteed to develop resentment and a negative attitude, your own inability to get to know them and show an interest in them as real people is a real winner in turning them off you – and feeling pretty bad about your workplace too.

3. Ignore Their Needs

By avoiding finding out what is important to them, or what they need to do a great job, you truly get their backs up. They won’t do their best for you, because, frankly, you let them down and are mealy-mouthed about supporting them. They cannot do their best without the best conditions to work in and resources.

4. Get Their Payroll Wrong

Firstly, make sure yuo pay them badly – below the industry norm. Then to put the icing on the cake, regularly and consistently screw up the payroll process. Works so well towards your quest.

5. Have Favorites

It might seem like the easy way out,by favouring some of your people, you feel liked. But what about the rest? No more certain a way to divide your people is when you treat some of them well and others worse.

6. Be Consistently Inconsistent

Working for a boss needs some clarity about what their expectations are. By chopping and changing, your people can’t get a grip on reality – there are no established goals for them to aim at – so they certainly will get frustrated. And the frustration breeds a whole lot of discontent – you’re doing well!

7. Have Special Rules for Yourself

Sure you are the boss. Yet if you ‘pull rank’ on your people with your own behaviours, you can only expect that they will model what they see in you – and when you then jump on them, it leaves them confused – and with that they are demotivated too.

8. Show No Interest in Their Development

Monkeys – you get them if you pay peanuts. We’ve already touched on getting their pay right. Yet your people also want safe challenge. If you want automatons who show no involvement in the work, you will not only get that, but bored, disinterested and unempowered workers. A recipe for underperformance.

9. Criticize (especially in Public)

No one likes criticism. And everyone hates it in front of their peers. In fact all ‘criticism’ is awful, yet so many bosses use it as a sort of power-play, where they can show off their position. Humiliating people will actively encourage them to move elsewhere – or stay and be miserable. Perfect!

10. Have no Empathy

Earlier I suggested it winds people up the wrong way when you show no real interest in them. Want to go a step better? Show no empathy to them when they are having a tough time. At work or at home. You will make a huge difference to them by ignoring their troubles – and it won’t be a good difference at all.

Just ten? Hey, there could have been way more – but get these ten right and you will be well on your way to sabotaging the success of whatever business, organization or even just a team you lead and manage. It isn’t as hard to achieve as it might seem!

Yet, if you take these as a check-list of areas where you might want to develop your skills and your short- to medium-term focus, then maybe, just maybe, some good will come of this catalogue of horrors!!

Not My Fault!

One of the biggest challenges in life, is where things go wrong. If not quite wrong, then at least not quite to plan.

Many people in these situations, whether it be a bigger picture life thing or just the small twists and turns of each of our day-to-day activities, find it much easier to blame others – sometimes, for almost everything!

Taking responsibility for each of our own lives is vital, if we are to see a way forward in a constructive way – a way where we take control.

It’s much easier – and very common – to blame someone else for the way difficulties and challenges in our lives show up. The truth most often is, that we are responsible for the life we end up with.

And by blaming others, we take away the honest truth, that we bring onto ourselves what we deserve from the actions – or lack of actions – that we subject ourselves to.

This happens in the workplace too. Whether you are a manager or an employee (or as is most common of all, both!), what you get is most often what you deserve from the position you put yourself in.

‘My boss is useless’; ‘No-one cares about me at work’; ‘It’s really tough here and getting worse’; and ‘I can’t trust my people to do anything right’, are amongst the phrases I hear, that people make when their workplace isn’t working right.

The truth is, in life, that what you get, is down to your actions in all but the most extreme situations.

Just like redundancy is in the news all the time now. ‘It just isn’t fair’ might be a reflection on what is happening to some people. Yet again, there is no fairness about it!

Preparing yourself in advance for what ‘might happen’ is good thinking in these times.

And if you do find yourself in this situation, thinking deeply about ‘what’s next’ (see this article), will ensure that you have a positive focus.

Many times we hide ourselves from what is becoming the truth because it is easier to bubble along – the challenge of different, new actions and their consequences maybe seems to be far too difficult.

Once you are in that position, it is just not acceptable to blame you lot on anyone else. It’s down to you to create actions that provide the outcomes you want.

It’s down to you to ask yourself “What can I do”, and stop whining, taking personal responsibility and action.

What – is about the action you can decide on.

Can – accentuates the positive – more is possible than you might think!

I – is yes, about you and standing up for yourself.

Do – is the ‘getting on with it’ part and making that difference happen!

It’s pretty much never anyone else’s fault, even though you might like to think it is and yes, you can do something about it.

Happiness – To Pursue or Avoid?

There’s a fascinating book about John Wesley Powell,  called “The Last Canyon”, by John Vernon, it explores their early expedition of discovery through the Grand Canyon.

And in it there is a small piece of dialogue near the front of the book.

In that dialogue, Powell chastises one of his crew about his surliness. The crewman, Bill Dunn, says this in return, “I don’t wish to be happy”. “Why is that?” asks Powell. “Afraid it won’t last”, replies Dunn.

And sometimes do we get in our own way?

Is it possible, even subconsciously, that we are afraid of being happy, perhaps because we fear the pain afterwards if we lose it, might be so uncomfortable that we would really hurt?

Fast-forward into a business context. On the one hand, is it possible that your people might feel uncomfortable taking on new experiences, challenges and even responsibilities because they could be afraid of ‘getting it wrong’ and thus suffering pain.

And if so, how do you get them over that hump.

Indeed how do you encourage those people in your team who show no interest in progression at all, or simply don’t want to take on extra responsibilities because of the possibility of ‘getting it wrong’?

Small steps, well supported, encouraged, never wrong. That’s how. Have you seen, or even been yourself, a mother with a child starting to walk?

Well, that’s how you gently stretch your people. Far from being small children who have no concept of ‘wrong’, your people have a lifetime’s experience of being told off – so they need a gentle touch all the more.

Small steps lead, over time to huge leaps.

As a manager and as a coach, I’ve worked with a number of employees and clients who just needed the encouragement to get them going and then there was no stopping them, yet their working (and sometimes home) environment was anything but encouraging.

It is very fulfilling work, the time we spend together.

And you can do this too, as a benefit to your business or organisation, by ‘growing empowered and capable people and above all, to those individuals who, for one reason or another are “Afraid it won’t last”, so don’t try at all.

Building Your Team

When you manage teams of people, they are a huge resource for you.

Today – right now – make a mental note of the special talents of each and every member of your direct reports.

How can you leverage the best talent from each of your people – what can they contribute to the growth and development of your business more than they do today – by utilizing those special talents in different places in your business?

Hold the press – there IS an ‘I’ in Team.

Share a secret? I was once horrified to hear David Brent in The Office facetiously say ‘There is an ‘I’ in team‘, because I’ve been saying it for ages – and in direct opposition to that notice you sometimes see pinned up which says ‘There is no ‘I’ in team’.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

But it is because I believe that every individual brings a unique gift to a team and it needs making the most of. Maybe David Brent got it right that time!

..and remember…

Have a great week noticing the stars in your team and how they shine…with their individuality and how it brings value to your team!