Coach Train Learn

Showing Your Face

Are you ready to be amazed?

There’s a simple way to make a difference in the way you relate to those in your team.

If you are focused in what you do, it will take no time at all, cost nothing and revolutionize the way that your people perceive you.

Why managers don’t do this enough is a mystery, but it’s linked to the being busy that we covered in last week’s newsletter.

You see it’s so vital to be able to delegate tasks as far as you can, to leverage the value from the capabilities that your people have (sometimes hidden, of course), that then will allow you more free time to do this simple act that they will love.

And the truth is that it is such an easy activity, that it is a wonder that managers don’t do more.
So, what’s the secret then?

Just be there more.

By showing an interest in your people, without putting any pressure on them, you will be much more valued as a manager and the return on the time you invest will be magnified many-fold.

The behavior of a manager is thought to be the reason for 70% of employees leaving their current employment.
By showing an authentic interest in them as they work – engaging them in easy conversation for example – you show that you are interested in them as people.

This builds relationships strongly between a manager and an employee. This is a hugely valuable asset in today’s employment climate – and one which is becoming more and more rare.

By just ‘chatting’ about nothing in particular, you invest time in the relationships that will serve you very well in the future – when you really do need to ask for help and support.

And that really does make a difference to the bottom line.

Too Busy for a Friend…

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really?” she heard whispered. “I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and, “I didn’t know others liked me so much,” werejust some of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in VietNam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. She nodded: “yes.” Then he said: “Mark talked about you a lot.”

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

“We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.

“Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.”

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.”

Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.”

“I have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary”

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I carry this with me at all times,” Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: “I think we all saved our lists”

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

Thought About ‘Plan B’?

I almost missed the opportunity to mention the current England demise at the World Cup.

Thanks to my sister Beverley earlier this evening, I feel no pressure to make a tenuous link between their performances thus far and the management we all undertake, day-in, day-out!

There is a very obvious link, of course.

Far be it from me to describe the England manager Fabio Capello as crazy, but there is a precedent:-

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”
Albert Einstein

We are in no different a boat than Capello and his hapless players. Sending the same team out with the same instructions is pretty often going a similar set of results, of course.

Doing the same with your people in your own team is inevitably going to create the same outcome too.

When things are not going to plan, then it’s always a good time to take a look at the plan and find out what it is that isn’t working.

Then go for ‘Plan B’.

Not know what your ‘Plan B’ is?

Well, if you don’t, then now is the most brilliant of times to seek the valuable input of your people and get them involved with making the difference that makes it work out.

Let’s hope Mr Capello does the same on Wednesday at 15.00 UK time!

Are You Ready?

In ‘The West Wing’ there’s a pivotal moment at the start of Season Two (just working my way through the box set!).

There has been a shooting attempt on the President’s team and through a series of flashbacks to when his presidential campaign began, Jed Bartlet is seen behaving like a bit of an arsehole with his key people.

His wife describes him as ‘not being ready’.

At the end of a hard fought battle on the campaign trail, the father of one of his team dies unexpectedly.

He finds out and spends some time with the young man, understanding him better as a person and with that appreciating that he has not been very good with the relationships with the team up to this point.

After this moment of being human at last, he turns to Leo McGarry, who is the force behind his candidature and tells him ‘I’m ready’.

The being readiness of us when we lead others is not a place that comes easily. It often requires a lot of self-awareness.

This needs to be sufficiently strong for us to acknowledge and then shift our behaviors such that we learn and grow for our people – just as much as ourselves.

Be clear – listening and really hearing what our people say is vital. Paying attention and developing ourselves is the action point we take from that.

Then, we really are ready too.

Performing Beyond Your Limits

After the recent women’s French Open Final, the winner Francesca Schiavone, was asked to describe her game.

She replied, ‘going over the limits  and being everything you can be in two hours.’ I wonder how many of us could say the same thing about our performance and results.

My belief is that most of us limit ourselves not by the competition or the resources we have available but by always listening to our own (often critical) inner voice which is forever filtering what we can and cannot do e.g. ‘I cannot do this because I am nor creative enough’.

Our noisy, incessant judge restricts our performance and hampers our ability to achieve our full potential.

But what informs this critical filtering voice? My suggestion is what I call the Nine Fears.

These are:

1.       The fear of being wrong

2.       The fear of being different

3.       The fear of excelling or being outstanding

4.       The fear of change

5.       The fear of failure

6.       The fear of responsibility e.g. becoming a parent or a leader

7.       The fear of not being perfect

8.       The fear of the new

9.       The fear of criticism

These 9 fears are a powerful force that can intimidate or scare you to only except the safe, proven and incremental. They can force you to become less that you are capable of. Or as Spencer Johnson asks all of us, ‘What would you do if you weren’t afraid?’

So how do you overcome some or all of these 9 fears? My suggestion is to try Speed Thinking. My theory is that because you have to create nine possibilities in 2 minutes you are too busy to listen to your own barracking crowd telling you what you can’t do.

You simply are – you create, decide or solve problems with your authentic, creative self. You can glimpse your true potential.

Try it – it’s truly empowering.

Ken Hudson is the pioneering developer of Speed Thinking and you can find out more about this amazing productivity tool at The Speed Thinking Zone

The Value of A Question