Coach Train Learn

When You Lose, Don’t Lose The Lesson

Eventually – some might say, regularly – things don’t go completely to plan in our world. Getting over this can be challenging, and it’s always vital that we do, so that we can move on in good spirits.

To help us on our way, ensuring that we understand why the plan didn’t work as we would have wanted and learning from it, enables added value to be gained from losing positions.

Rarely do we get a perfect result from the experiences we have in our lives.

So by ensuring that we add value back in from what we can appreciate to do differently next time, we can make the outcome 100%, even if the goal we achieved was less so.

For the very enlightened, the lessons we learn from the experiences we have, however painful, can be even more enriching than the achievement of the goal we seek.

And the additional benefit is where we take a constructive and productive position when we might be feeling disappointed or let down, we gain focus, energy and emotional strength too.

Which puts a much greater ‘win’ slant on the ‘lose’ it might have been.

From  ’20 Ways to Get Good Karma’ – The Dalai Lama at SpiritualNow

Effective Change Management Comes Fully Inclusive

Change can be a very uncomfortable place to be. Particularly for employees, there are many times where imposed change can make them feel powerless, out of control and ultimately, this causes fear, resentment and lots of other negative emotions.

There is a way to make them feel much better and keep onside the positive asset they already are.

The most annoying element that comes when managing change – especially where you’ve taken the time to build lasting relationships with your people – is to see them suffer with the new challenges they will face.

In fact, it’s even more basic than that. It’s that they struggle with what they don’t yet know and the personal consequences for them as individuals.

Because the nature of change – especially in larger organizations – is to take a step by step communication process, managers usually know more than individuals and yet have to hold back, because of the processes involved. This makes fo even more discomfort, because every employee is anxious for their personal bottom line.

Nebulous and generalized statements regarding impacts will not hold much sway with an individual unless they are able to appreciate exactly how it will affect them personally – and imparting that level of knowledge is not always possible to start with.

Yet there’s a way to enable them to have less time to focus on the unknowns and to constructively contribute to what’s going on. When your people are enageged in valuable activities, they will quickly get absorbed in where they are able to contribute and spend less of their time dwelling on what (only) might be coming their way.

There are many ways employees can become engaged in change.

A key to making this work best is the upfront investment you have personally made to engage your people, well before change has been even hinted at. Do not miss opportunities in your everyday work to create powerful relationships with your people in as many ways as you can – even informallly – because this will be a big lever that will work in your favour in the future, when times might not be quite so simple.

Sometimes, they will be enthusiastically engaged where you have a ‘what’ to deliver as an outcome – or series of outcomes – of changes, by using their skills and experience to come up with some creative – and often unexpected – ‘hows’ of the mechanics of delivery. They will have great ideas – if you involve them openly and honestly.

There will be opportunities for them to collaborate together, to negotiate between them changes they are going to have to deliver which can impact on their personal circumstances.

Where improvements to operational procedures and deliverables are needed, you will be amazed at how varied their approaches can be. After all, even though you’re the boss, you don’t have every answer – and those that you do have will more often than not be the best. (This concept can take a little getting used to for many bosses!).

Where you are able to communicate more fully, their contributions from questions they have will add to the mix for everyone, where you see it as an opportunity to explain and explore answers with a whole group of people. Creating a series of FAQs fromn your teams’ queries will very often prevent you wasting time saying the same thing over and over to many people.

And why stop with change activities utilizing your whole team this way. In a world of wikis and open source solutions, the smart organizations are already leveraging the knowledge, ontribution and ultimately the raw power of the many to solve problems.

One day, imposed change might well be the last way we solve problems. Our people will, in an enlightened business world, have fixed things before they become a problem in a rolling, ultra-inclusive process where all are involved and – deep breath required – bosses simply keep the plates spinning.

© Martin Haworth 2011. This is an expanded version of just one of many change management ideas, from Resilience in Change. For your free – downloadable today – ‘Managing Change’ Super-Simple Success Tips e-book, visit http://www.ResilienceInChange.com

Goals – Bring ‘Em On

For many managers, career development is about putting the hours in, developing performance and skills and then moving up the ladder when the opportunity comes along.

The next rung to climb may, depending on the organization (and how organized they are) be structured to bring the best out of the potential that manager seems to have, dictated by the outcomes of assessments, performance reviews and consequently ‘noticed’ possibilities espied by line managers, project team leaders and others – often in random ways.

The next opportunity comes along on a wing and a prayer and suddenly you’re in the thick of a new challenge, trying to make the best of what you inherit. That can be an established team running well; a poor team who are struggling (‘Where did our last boss go, anyway?’) or a new project where the sheet of paper is blank.

The temptation to get in the thick of what you find is very attractive.

Heads down and see how things show up is an easy attitude to have. Being really busy from the off, shows the team your style of hard work, focus on the short terms and, above all, role-model the level of effort you expect from them real soon.

Smart managers are a lot cleverer than this. They DO invest their early days creating excellent relationships with their people. They show interest in them, listen a lot to show that they care and show they want to learn and understand about them.

And from a very early stage, they use the language of ‘goals’ and ‘expectations’ so that this becomes embodied in the culture of how the team will operate.

Some caution in the goals created will be necessary, of course, to ensure the direction taken is fully aligned with the outputs expected too. That said, there’s nothing wrong with creating goals together from early on in the relationships – and then together tweaking them as necessary.

The alternative of blindly drifting along, is a recipe for only one outcome, a vague set of results achieved with people who are puzzled with what they are supposed to be doing and disillusioned all the more because of this.

Better to have clearly focused goals to start and then refine together, than have ill-defined (if any) goals and no real direction.

Leadership Lessons Out of ‘The West Wing’

Many of you will remember that I’m steadily working my way through the 7 seasons of ‘The West Wing’ boxed set. And so far, it’s not difficult to appreciate why so many Americans (and others) would readily take Jed Bartlett as their President.

There are many aspects of Bartlett that are agreeable and none more so than his tremendous leadership of others.

In an example I watched just the other night, one of his senior team takes an incredibly brave step to ask Bartlett personal details of his relationship with his father. Whilst this might seem a step too far in his relationship with ‘Mr President’, Toby Ziegler is performing an ideal, if rather intimate service to his boss.

Initially, Bartlett is rather incensed at Ziegler’s impertinence and then, in the next couple of episodes, we see the true leadership come through, where he responds to the raw edge that Ziegler has exposed. Bartlett sees past his own bruised ego and ‘gets’ the point of Ziegler’s intervention.

In his own way, Bartlett shows Ziegler how much he values the man’s courage to speak up in such a sensitive area – and, incidentally, an area that Bartlett really does need to investigate.

In too many cases, leaders are so engrossed in their own ego that they fail to appreciate that giving feedback to your boss is a tough thing to do.

Bosses very often intimidate, whether they mean to or not.

To have the courage to give feedback is a rare thing in an employee. Even when they do get brave enough, the handling of this feedback has to be very careful indeed, or valuable relationships will stutter and the most likely outcome is that no more feedback will ever be forthcoming.

(Hint – never start to argue or justify your side of it, just thank them and accept the feedback very graciously and ponder on it honestly).

Great leaders – like the fictional character Bartlett that Martin Sheen plays so effectively – value both the very feedback they are given by acting on it constructively, as well as respecting the generosity and courage shown by the employee who has the kindness to offer it.

We see feedback as a one-way street – often interpreted by employees as ‘criticism’ (and negatively as a consequence) – where we dole it out downwards when we lead others (often more for our benefit than theirs).

Where we graciously accept feedback given that is intended to help us ourselves evolve, we make best use of the gift for our own benefits and also show our people that it adds value and is to be appreciated, which, in turn, makes it much more likely for them to value too when they are on the receiving end.

When we accept and look into feedback that seems hard to take, we are being provided with a perception of us that sometimes – often indeed – is just where our blind spot is.

And that’s such a valuable steer for someone to take the time and trouble to share with us.

Leading Others? Give Feedback!

Ironically, it often feels easier not to give feedback. For most people, whatever their role, the concern with what can be seen to be a confrontation is so much easier to delay, prevaricate with and – in many cases – simply put off altogether.

And that makes matters worse, almost every time.

Here are three ideas to help you get past giving feedback.

1. Be Fast and Frequent

When circumstances present themselves to give feedback, see it as a very positive opportunity. And then give that feedback, because it’s there for the value it can offer.

Giving feedback needs to be a regular activity, so that you begin to overcome the fear factor that so often comes with those much maligned words, ‘Would you like some feedback?’

The more you give feedback – not forgetting that it can so often simply be positive, without that negative sting in the tail – the more your people will learn to like it and be less defensive. Indeed, the goal we all seek as managers is where we add value by providing great feedback as a resource.

The better you give it soon after the event, such that it’s still relevant and fresh too, will be more effective than a few days later. Delaying says much about your level of self-esteem.

2. Make Feedback Two-Way

Being prepared to accept feedback means that you walk your own talk and your employees start to see the real reason behind feedback.

It’s actually there to help.

When we hear feedback, unless the language, trust and environment is perfect, it’s very easy to be defensive in response. When as employees, we see our boss able to receive feedback willingly, appreciate it and be seen to develop themselves too, we start to want some of that.

As managers, accepting and showing the changes we make when we receive it, means feedback starts to be seen as not the monster with which it is so often tarnished.

3. What Do They Think?

Giving feedback has a prior step. Ask people if they would like to give themselves feedback first, listen and acknowledge and then share yours too.

And remember, ensuring that you acknowledge their positives first, shows just how much you value them as individuals and helps encourage people to try a different approach in the future in those areas where they might be better.

Employees pretty much do 95+% of their roles really well, so showing them perspectives of the opportunities to be even better needs to reflect how good they are first.

Want more? For 10 top tips on Effective Feedback, checkout here

Keeping Sane – Influencing What You Can

Life is busy. We have many things on our plate – too many most of us would say. And at times it can seem overwhelming.

So often there are issues we face that challenge us, often many times a day – and frequently shift our perspective, making what are relatively trivial issues magnified, such that they can easily consume us.

Much of what happens in our lives can be adjusted by the choices we make. So often a choice we make is a choice that we might make almost unconsciously, especially where we decline to make a difficult one, because the consequences of making it might be tough.

Then there are the times we spend considering and wringing our hands about circumstances over which we have no choices at all, because there are no actions we could take that are within our sphere of influence.

So we waste much of our time thinking about things that are completely outside what we can change, whatever we do.

We spend time there because it’s less controversial to be there, rather in the thick of issues where we can make real differences to our lives, because it’s easier to whine about external, uninfluenceable issues, than it is to face into areas that we could challenge.

But doing that is hard. So we bottle it and spend time blaming the rest of the world.

Sometimes, the people we associate with in our lives – and particularly where we manage others, the employees we have in our teams – lay on us their problems and issues they have in their lives that they cannot control, making their lives so seemingly awful.

The tactic here is to ensure that we encourage them simply to focus on those issues where a difference can be made and spend as little time as possible in those places where we can’t. And we do the same with our issues too.

Then we create more space to be much more productive and effective and take control, rather than waste our available time in that hole where we can – if we choose – wallow about what the world is doing to us.

As managers, we can model our ability to focus only on areas we can influence to our people too, encouraging them to be much more relevant with their thinking and then actions.

Above all, remembering that it’s a choice.