Coach Train Learn

Listen – With Both Ears

There is an art to building fruitful relationships. Be they in our daily lives, or at the workplace, it takes time for them to evolve. We have choices to make to ensure we achieve the best from our interactions with those around us.

For most of us, whilst we might not be fully aware of it, we are riven with self-interest.

Whilst this is quite understandable – from deep in the mists of time, where we needed to look out for ourselves to survive – in our modern world, there are new, more subtle priorities to get to where we want to.

When we show others that we value them; trust them; and want to form a relationship with them, we are leaps and bounds ahead of those who demonstrate merely self-interest.

Our appreciation of others – who they are and what they stand for – is a powerful way of getting them on our side, which makes them valuable to us too.

Listening carefully to what others have to say is one of the most powerful tools for building strong interdependent relationships and yet is underutilised because we get in our own way. We are only half listening, half of the time, because we are are too interested in hearing our own inner voice with its own selfish agenda.

This shows in our manner; in our faces and in other behaviours that give away that we aren’t actually that interested in the other person. Our own ego is shouting out loud about us, which is just not what interets most other people.

As Stephen Covey says in ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People‘

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”

If we can spend just a little time practicing truly authentic, active and attentive listening, that investment alone will create powerful interactions with others.

Setting our own agenda aside is a challenge – and by doing so we can add significant value to the relationships we have ahead of us.

The golden rule is to follow your ears. We have been given two of them.

And only one mouth.

By using them in that 2:1 proportion, we will have all the benefits of being appreciated and liked by those around us on our team.

Then they will work much more affectively as our partner in whatever ways we want from them.

Strong Standards Drive Freedom to Create

In a business world where innovation and creativity are in fashion right now, many organizations find the need to be more relaxed to engage with their employees and let them off their ropes.

Such freedom is, in enlightened organizational eyes, vital to ensure that every one of their people feel that the environment is ideally suited to getting in the flow and being able to have the perfect mindset for these new demands of novel approaches to work.

The challenge for many organizations is to ensure that there are standards in place which employees adhere to, whilst also engendering a culture of openness, freedom and new ways of working.

These standards may be of behavior, security, communication, equality and more. All of which are vital components that people need to understand better what is expected of them in general, when employed together in their workplace community.

Such rules are vital to ensure that everyone gets along in a civilised way together and, more importantly, each appreciates the needs and expectations of their fellow colleagues too.

Rules and freedom. Using the two words together in the same sentence seems an oxymoron that simply won’t work. Yet they are particularly comfortable bedfellows if the best value is to be achieved from every employee.

For rules create understanding that everyone adheres to. And once clear, with all the players signed up, individuals are much more able to relax and do their own thing. From rigidity can come freedom after all.

To ensure that rules do not encumber employees, engaging them by including them in the design of workplace standards enables contribution and commitment.

When they are involved in creating the structure within which all will work, joint ownership in the creative process with management, will provide more productive than when such strictures are simply imposed from an impersonal ‘above’.

Completely structureless organizations and teams might offer hope of greater flexibility and outputs, yet this is so often not the case.

Wrangling and discontent start to suck energy from creative opportunities as individuals feel, share and focus on their personal sensitivities that are being – to them – abused, so less work gets done and that which is will tend to be stilted and compliant.

Much better to be clear on the standards and rules together – and then get on with the freedom that such discipline enables.

Make Silence Your Answer

As we work with our people, they see us as leaders who know everything. After all, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t have the skills and knowledge to have the answers, now would we?

And when we are asked for our solutions, it’s all too easy to give them. For speed; for knowing the way is ‘right’; for a subtle massage for our own ego and for playing the role of the ‘boss’ and showing off our prowess.

Appreciating that we may well be able to fix most things that employees come across is one thing. Letting them find the answers for themselves is a much stronger skill, even though there might be hiccups along the way.

By ‘not knowing’ the solutions, we open up our people to developing their own sense of creativity, leading to new solutions, confidence building and much more capable team members.

When asked the question, try asking one back and be still. By letting our people fill the spaces with their thoughts, solutions and ideas, they become the empowered ones who can take on some of the ‘stuff’ that we choose to fill our days with.

Using silence as the answers we give may be too much on every occasion we are asked for help. And it’s a skill for leaders that can take some time to develop.

The outcomes are much more valuable to us than simply the letting go of purring as we are perceived as the ‘star’. Much better to arrange a team of stars around us by not having all the answers and letting the silence do the work.

‘Remember that Silence is Sometimes the Best Answer’ from ’20 Ways to Get Good Karma’ – The Dalai Lama at SpiritualNow

Special Secrets to Micro-Managing Employee Performance

In general, micro-management is frowned upon in the management sphere. Yet there are occasions when by getting into the small stuff, there are benefits to managers and their people too.

The traditional view of micro-management is where a manager is so neurotic about the delivery of results that he or she cannot leave individuals to their own devices.

Micro-managers sabotage success simply because they are so close to what their people do that they stifle performance, thereby making the achievements of the desired results even more unlikely.

By failing to give responsibility to each individual to deliver what’s required, micro-managers very nearly do their job for them. This can be very demanding for the manager, who has to keep many more plates spinning than their role allows for, leading to not only exhaustion, but also to actual underperformance as they spread themselves too thinly to ensure quality outputs.

Employees find this sort of micro-management behavior incredibly frustrating. They feel watched, which diminishes their confidence. They feel that they are not trusted, so they tend to play safe and take few risks. They also find that they get nervous too, when they expect their boss to pop up at any moment to interfere and give them the guidance they clearly don’t need.

So micro-management is regarded by employees as a bad thing.

Smart managers micro-manage differently.

By seeking to interact with their people much less directly, they can understand the different motivators that every individual needs specially personalised to them. Getting to know their people, these particularly effective managers not only get to know what’s going on, they build strong, supportive and focused relationships that deliver.

Micro-managing relationships in this way, means that instead of getting close to the activities their people as tasked to deliver, they simply get close to the people themselves.

And it’s a set of skills that are easy to learn. Instead of being clever and knowing what’s best in the approach to tasks, savvy managers ask their people easy question, let them talk – and then listen, a lot. They let their people feel they are the success, because when employees talk, these exceptional managers recognise that what works is simply listening to them with focused attention and then asking them some more.

Micro-managing relationships is so much more valuable than micro-managing tasks. The accountability for team success clearly lies with a manager. Responsibility for delivering the component tasks that make up the big-picture result lies with individuals. Then each is doing what their individual roles requires.

Creating the sort of relationships that enable this dynamic and productive interaction is what defines the very best of management behaviors and attitudes.

Employees feel valued, heard, capable and confident and go on to contribute more; be pro-active; show their creativity; take on more. Managers make time for their people and, with clear expectations of each and every one of their people defined, step back from getting in the way.

Micromanaging relationships works very effectively indeed. A long way from micro-managing tasks, for which it’s much better to leave to the valuable resource of the employees they lead.

Personal PR – How To Fly Your Own Flag

On many occasions of any career, there are times where it’s vital to represent yourself fully. To make the best publicity you can for ‘yours sincerely’. And there are easy tactics you can use…

Whether you are applying for a promotion in your existing organization; looking for a new job altogether; or simply experiencing a performance review, there are steps you can take that will enhance your outcome.

Most, if not all individuals, find it hard to tweak their achievements to make the best of them. Whether this comes from naivety, modesty or simply a misjudgment of what they can pluck from their experiences, it’s hard to say.

The truth is that long hours wringing hands and fretting need not be suffered. Because in the main, all you need when being assessed is already within you. All you need to create a really effective candidate – or A+ result in your performance.

There are six key steps (plus a bonus!), to making the most of your assets:-

1. Start Early

Be aware. When you are in the thick of experiences and learning, always, but always be prepared to make a note – however small – of something that you did. You don’t have to write a whole portfolio of it, that can come later (just kidding!). Just notice when things happen.

2. Link to Role

By being aware of what you might need to take careful note of before you start looking for it. Here you’re simply looking for the categories upon which you will ultimately be tested and then you can start to create a list of your personal activities (the ‘What I did’ of your evidence).

3. Keeping Up

As you create this list of your activities, you categorize them as you go and as the evidence piles up, create a note also of the gaps too. Then you can pro-actively ‘create’ the activities you need to make your offer almost irresistible. You will become rounded and thorough and then have the luxury of deciding not just that you have enough, but you have a choice of evidence you can talk about when you are being assessed.

4. ‘I Can’t Find Enough’

It’s vital to understand that the evidence you create does not need to move mountains. A clear action you personally took, where you can demonstrate just four simple elements – What you did; Why you did it; What the outcome was and What you learned is perfect – and keep it short and succinct. It gives them clear facts and a space to ask you more too – A perfect candidate!

5. Last Minute?

Left it too late? No problem! All you need is a kindly colleague to ask you the questions and push you for answers. It’s amazing at what we leave out or underestimate in ourselves. With focus, it’s possible to create quite comprehensive evidence if you are coached to create it in a couple of hours with a ‘coach’ friend drawing from you the actual – even where you think there are few.

6. Blagging!

Actual lying can never be condoned – least of all because you’ll get found out and if you were successful and got something without really deserving it, likely as not it wouldn’t suit you anyway. You can – and must – embellish, by really stretching out all you do in a category and make it really sing for you. Every scrap of paper evidence; every single impressive fact and figure pile up to become much more interesting to assessors.

7. And Finally – A Bonus Step!

Always but always focus on what you did. Yes, you personally. Using ‘we’ and’ they’ won’t cut it. Be brave and strong and shout about you out loud. Use the ‘I’ word and really show what you are made of.

We all do pretty good work. We all deserve that you be recognised and in the main, we don’t shout about ourselves enough. And when you don’t, who will?

Change Management – Life Goes On

When your people are implicated in changes you are making, it can be a challenge to keep them focused on keeping their output up.

As a manager, it’s your vital role to help keep them focused on the day job, whatever else is going on.

Change is challenging. And when individuals are affected, it can be a huge challenge to maintain focus, morale and engagement, because of the personalized implications they may feel concerned about. It can be a tough call for them to make.

Managers need to have the ability to manage the attention of the employees in their team, even when there are the significant distractions that come when change impacts on them.

At a time where focusing on managing change effectively is at the top of their own agenda, the best managers are taking the time to make sure that the performance of their team remains focused on the day-job.

They do this by being all the more visible than usual and by taking the time to engage with their people like never before. This is time-consuming and challenging in itself. And it’s a vital role for the more diligent managers to play.

There’s a spin-off too. Where a team are in the thick of change, with all its implications – real or simply perceived – making concentration all the more difficult, there’s a need to get grounded and back to normality.

Where a manager is able to combine change management with their normal role in managing and leading their team effectively – and be seen to do so – it will have a beneficial effect on team energy, focus and keep excitability at least a little under control.

Managers who take off the change manager hat for some or even most of their time and show that they are focusing on their normal role, will be demonstrating a resilience during times of change that will impress model for their people too.

This ‘normalizing’ behavior will slowly and surely percolate into the way their people do their job and help calm down the excitement that so often bubbles under when circumstances are changing.

Good managers focus on the day-to-day requirements of the organization and with that, instigate a normality that can so easily get out of hand if allowed to.

Change management is not simply about delivering a change program, it’s about taking your people with you and helping them see that for most of their work, change is an insignificance that can get out of proportion.

Managers who are managing change this way, will be showing that they care about their priorities effectively and, with that, their people will most likely keep engaged where they add value best.

© Martin Haworth 2011. This is an expanded version of just one of many change management ideas, from Resilience in Change. For your free – downloadable today – ‘Managing Change’ Super-Simple Success Tips e-book, visit http://www.ResilienceInChange.com